Here are some useful tips I have learned through The Walking Dead on how to survive a zombie apocalypse!
1. If you are a child, wear a sheriff's hat, carry a knife (that you will never use, instead you throw rocks), and talk your parents into letting you carry around a gun. It really doesn't matter that your 10 years old...there are ZOMBIES! On another note, you have free reign of going wherever you want by yourself. Feel free to go play in the woods, down by the creek, or wherever you want to go. There will be rocks in reach!
2. Be any other race than Caucasian and you will never die. You may only one sentence the rest of the time your being run down by zombies, but you'll never die. Either that or you'll be the errand boy, but its all good...your wicked fast!
3. Sleep around with several men. This way all of them are trying to protect you. This works especially well if you get knocked up by one of them. This means extra protection!
side note...I'm really hoping that her baby is already a zombie and rips its way out of her stomach next season! fingers crossed!!!
4. Invest in one of these...an AK47 with a chainsaw attachment
5. Have stringy-ass long hair. And NEVER pull it back. Even though you have your errand boy grab a preggers test and other stuff from the drugstore, there's no need for a hair tie. No really, it may be 110 degrees outside, but leave your hair down. Maybe its some sort of camouflage...the zombies cant see you!
6. Have several guns, but no ammo. The guns work without ammo! Its crazy I know, but It'll work! When your being run off your farm and standing infront of a wall of zombies, your rifle will continuously fire without needing to be reloaded
7. Be cool with your slutty wife sleeping with your best friend and being knocked up by one of you...but which one?? It also helps to whine about everything and say stuff like "We dont kill the living" then shoot several people. Or "Im doing the best I can to keep everyone safe" and so on and so on...
Cry like a big baby when you have to stab your best friend. I mean, yes, he did knock up your wife, try to raise your kid, and try to kill everyone else, and leave you to die in the hospital that had been run over by zombies, but dang man...all that doesn't matter, hes your best friend. Oh, and this is a must!! You have to carry a holster!
8. Hang out with this guy...youll never go anywhere. Why?? Because hes a badass! and pretty nice eye candy!
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